If friends did not accept one's advice, one should not feel offended but be able to allow others to have freedom in their decision. Nobody in fact follows anybody else because the final decision has to be taken by the person himself. Even if one follows one s friend's advice, if things went wrong, the blame could not be put on the friend because it was one s own decision ultimately.
When friends offered advice, one should listen carefully....
One of the great things to be learned is listening. Listen very silently. Just don't listen indifferently. Don't listen as if you want them to stop and you are just listening to be polite because they are your friends. It is better in that case to tell them not to say anything because you are not in the mood to listen.
But if you are listening, really listen, be open, because they may be right.
And even if they are wrong, listening to them will enrich you. You will know more sides of the same thing, more viewpoints, and it is always good to learn. So listen well but always decide on your own.
Once a person has this relative understanding and drops absolute nonsense, things become very clear and easy. Otherwise people are very absolutistic. They think in terms of absolutes: this is truth and whatsoever is against it, is wrong. This has crippled the whole earth -- Hindus and Mohammedans and Christians fighting because everybody claims the absolute truth. Nobody has any claim on it. It is nobody's monopoly.
Truth is vast. Infinite are its facets and infinite are the ways to know it. And whatsoever we know is limited; it is just a part.
Never claim for the part as if it is the whole and then you will never be in trouble. Watch every word that you speak. Our language is such, our ways of speaking are such, that knowingly, unknowingly, we make absolute statements. Never do that. Use 'perhaps' more. Hesitate more. Use 'maybe', 'perhaps' more, and allow the other every freedom to decide on his own.
Try it for one month. You will have to be very alert, because it is a deep-rooted habit, but if one is alert it can be dropped. Then you will see that arguments drop and then there is no need to defend. And always remember that it is possible that tomorrow you may think something was wrong, but you have changed.
That's why I say that repentance is impossible. The person who committed it is not the person who is repenting. They are two different moments, absolutely atomic and unconnected. So there is no point in repenting. There is no point in thinking again and again about the past. What has happened has happened. Whatsoever you think now is not the point.
So each moment has its own validity. No other moment can cancel it. You cannot cancel the past. Whatsoever you did in that moment was right in that moment. It was meant to be so. It was all that could happen and it happened; otherwise was not possible. You being you it was going to happen that way. So now there is no point in crying and weeping and repenting over it. Now you are more experienced. Next time remain alert so that the old thing is not repeated, that's all.
~Osho~
When friends offered advice, one should listen carefully....
One of the great things to be learned is listening. Listen very silently. Just don't listen indifferently. Don't listen as if you want them to stop and you are just listening to be polite because they are your friends. It is better in that case to tell them not to say anything because you are not in the mood to listen.
But if you are listening, really listen, be open, because they may be right.
And even if they are wrong, listening to them will enrich you. You will know more sides of the same thing, more viewpoints, and it is always good to learn. So listen well but always decide on your own.
Once a person has this relative understanding and drops absolute nonsense, things become very clear and easy. Otherwise people are very absolutistic. They think in terms of absolutes: this is truth and whatsoever is against it, is wrong. This has crippled the whole earth -- Hindus and Mohammedans and Christians fighting because everybody claims the absolute truth. Nobody has any claim on it. It is nobody's monopoly.
Truth is vast. Infinite are its facets and infinite are the ways to know it. And whatsoever we know is limited; it is just a part.
Never claim for the part as if it is the whole and then you will never be in trouble. Watch every word that you speak. Our language is such, our ways of speaking are such, that knowingly, unknowingly, we make absolute statements. Never do that. Use 'perhaps' more. Hesitate more. Use 'maybe', 'perhaps' more, and allow the other every freedom to decide on his own.
Try it for one month. You will have to be very alert, because it is a deep-rooted habit, but if one is alert it can be dropped. Then you will see that arguments drop and then there is no need to defend. And always remember that it is possible that tomorrow you may think something was wrong, but you have changed.
That's why I say that repentance is impossible. The person who committed it is not the person who is repenting. They are two different moments, absolutely atomic and unconnected. So there is no point in repenting. There is no point in thinking again and again about the past. What has happened has happened. Whatsoever you think now is not the point.
So each moment has its own validity. No other moment can cancel it. You cannot cancel the past. Whatsoever you did in that moment was right in that moment. It was meant to be so. It was all that could happen and it happened; otherwise was not possible. You being you it was going to happen that way. So now there is no point in crying and weeping and repenting over it. Now you are more experienced. Next time remain alert so that the old thing is not repeated, that's all.
~Osho~
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